The Favor Business

How to keep friends and win favors

Before the essay, a quick note—monthly and annual paid subscriptions to Bookish are 20% off through August 15. Please consider subscribing/upgrading or giving a gift subscription.

*

It doesn’t matter that the events I’m about to recount happened more than two decades ago, are likely comically un-titillating as stories about shame go, or that the person whose goodwill I tested still talks to me. My mistake was one that countless other hopeful and ambitious writers have made, and I’ve likewise been the victim of the same writerly misdemeanor many times, but I still feel remorse.

On a humid, midsummer day between my second and third years in IU-Bloomington’s graduate creative writing program, I asked one of my professors if she’d be willing to read a short story I’d recently written.

I was a poetry MFA and making my first fumbling attempts to write fiction. She kindly agreed, despite the fact I wasn’t currently taking a class with her. Soon after, she got back to me with encouraging comments that spurred me to keep going.  

A month or so later, I finished another story and asked if she’d read it too. Again she agreed (privately, she was probably cursing her generous impulses). This short story, unlike the other one (which, a year or so later, became my first published story), was a mess. It must have been a drudge for my professor to read, who told me it needed a lot more work, and the next time I wanted another set of eyes on a story, I should ask a classmate.  

Some part of me must have wondered at the time if she would have been willing to read a third story if the second one had shown more promise—if I had blithely, witlessly continued to pester her for her unremunerated time and attention.

Whatever the case might have been, what I eventually realized was, honest mistake or not, I took advantage of this professor’s goodwill. I can’t remember if I hand-wrote her a thank-you note or gave her a small gift to show my appreciation—this is the least I could have done. (The students over the years who have sent me thank-you notes for recommendation letters, advice about publishing, agents, etc., all the extracurricular tasks many professors gladly perform for their students—these students are in my pantheon of stand-outs, some of whom, incidentally, are subscribers to this newsletter—thank you if that’s you. ❤️)

Unless you’re in a classroom and the instructor is being paid to read your work, or you’re in a writing group where each member has the opportunity to submit a work-in-progress and receive feedback, it’s not good form to give your work to another writer (former or current instructor or not), unless it has specifically been requested, or you’re offering to pay this person for their time and expertise.

Certainly there are stories where an inexperienced, hopeful writer took a chance and sent a poem or a story or an entire manuscript (oy!)

to someone famous who read it, liked it, and helped the novice find an agent and/or publisher, or else provided much-needed encouragement at a crucial time—which is the writing world’s equivalent to Lana Turner being discovered at Schwab’s drugstore (the almighty internet declares it was actually the Top Hat Malt Shop in Hollywood). These stories are rare, even if we’ve often heard them repeated.

Lana Turner (Britannica.com)

If, for example, you talk to a writer you admire at a bookstore event, and you mention you also write, I don’t advise asking this writer to read your work, strong as the impulse might be. If they offer to read something of yours, however, leap at the chance (politely) to share your work, and of course make sure to send the best sample you have.

Keep in mind they might never get back to you—terrible to experience, but not uncommon. I recommend sending off the sample and doing what you can to forget about it. If you do get a reply, marvelous, but try not to expend too much energy hoping for one.

On a related topic, if you are publishing a book, you’ve most likely been in the awkward position of having to ask other writers for a blurb.

It’s not a good practice to send the book to the potential blurber without first writing to ask if they will take a look at your forthcoming book and possibly offer a blurb—they might be overextended or have some other reason for their inability to read your book. (Sometimes editors or publicists will contact potential blurbers, but it’s more likely to yield a positive result if the writer sends a note to the other writer with the blurb request—ideally because they love the more established writer’s work and can speak to this specifically in their request.) It’s also best if you give the blurber two or more months, a month at minimum, to read your book and send the blurb to your editor.

Overall, tact and respect for other writers’ time and energy are paramount

when you ask for a favor or are considering asking for a favor. The same goes for the agent search: you can politely ask, but don’t expect a friend to connect you with their agent. If your friend feels comfortable putting you in touch, they will.

If they don’t, there are many possible reasons: the agent might not be taking on new clients, or your friend, knowing the agent’s taste, doesn’t think your work is a good fit. Or it could simply be fear or frustration—the friend isn’t feeling appreciated by the agent and worries that another distraction will compound the problem (in this case, it might be time for the friend to begin a new agent search too).

Also, don’t write to an agent and mention a friend who is among the agent’s clients without first asking the friend for permission. If you don’t feel comfortable asking, I recommend finding another agent to query or else write to the agent without mentioning your friend (you could say, however, that you admire the friend’s book[s]). If you do write to the agent and say that your friend referred you (but you didn’t ask for their okay ahead of time), the friend is likely as not to find out and you’ll have damaged their trust, possibly permanently.

I’ll end with this anecdote: a writer friend I’ve known for several years told me a story a few months ago that lives in my file of Writers Behaving Badly/Desperately.

My friend’s husband wrote to her (very busy, very distinguished) editor without her permission in order to pitch the editor his work-in-progress. My friend was furious; her editor, to my friend’s relief, was more amused than anything else.

Coda: The editor did not ask to read the (now ex-) husband’s manuscript.

Recommendations!

1. James Reich’s forthcoming novel, The Moth for the Star (7.13 Books) is available now for preorder. It’s a beautifully written, haunting mystery set mostly in 1930, globe-trotting through Cairo, New York, and England.

2. Seattle-based musician/songwriter Nick Droz’s Secret Singles Club - every few months, Nick writes an original song that you can download for free. I met him in March after he wrote a song, “Evan Dando,” based on my novel in memos Please Be Advised, and performed it at a musical/literary event at the annual Associated Writers and Writing Programs (AWP) Conference in Seattle. You can sign up to join his Secret Singles Club here.

3. Chicago-based songwriter/guitarist/drummer Gerald Dowd’s new album, Father’s Day, is out this month! If you’re in the vicinity, join him and Leslie Beukelman for his release party at Evanston SPACE on August 16, 7 PM (doors open at 6) - tickets can be purchased here.

   

   The Moth..., Nick Droz, Gerald Dowd!