Tech Neck & Other Bodily Gremlins

How not to be a stiff

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Years ago, when I still lived in Evanston, Illinois, I heard the term “tech neck” for the first time when one of the spinning instructors at the gym I belonged to voiced her disdain for this affliction as we warmed up for class.

Not long after this epiphanic linguistic moment, my friend Sheryl told me a doctor once advised her that humans shouldn’t be using pillows at all—in his view, they do more harm than good. At the time, I thought, Damn. That guy is hardcore.

These days, however, my joints and muscles and cartilage are in the habit of frequently reminding me just who is in charge of this whole circus. I’m more inclined to think, Oy, I guess that doctor has his reasons.

TMI anecdote time: for years, I slept on two pillows, but those hearty specimens have been whittled down to one very sketchy pillow that is so thin, if I were to rip it open, inside its casing I’d probably discover a combination of wadded up dryer lint and one of those flimsy squares from the bottom of a box of fresh raspberries.

The probable contents of my pillow

Today’s Bookish post is strictly utilitarian. I’m sharing a few stretches for keeping tech neck, stiff hips, and irascible backs at bay. I wish I could say I do these exercises religiously, but that would be…self-flattery, aka a lie.

Okay…ready, set, stretch.

• Facing forward, shoulders relaxed, tilt your neck to one side and hold for a second or two before tilting toward the other shoulder (slowly, so as not to strain any tendons - think guitar strings snapping - best to avoid this). Do this several times, ideally until you feel the works loosening. (The average head weighs about 10 pounds—a lot for our beleaguered necks to hold up—with only the promise of a sketchy pillow for relief.)

• You can also turn your head and tilt your chin down toward each shoulder. Repeat several times on both sides. (Another spin instructor always had us do this stretch as class wound down. Those of us who hadn’t gone deaf—she blasted her music to a Who-concert decibel level—followed her instructions and our necks did feel less tight afterward).

• Another tech neck remedy: lie on a sofa or a bed with your head hanging slightly over the edge (your neck should mostly be supported). This will also help loosen the sinews.

• To loosen hip flexors and lower back, do a yoga squat like the one pictured below (if your blinds are open, this will give any voyeur neighbors, in the vein of Dudley Moore with his telescope in 10, a good eyeful too).

Yoga squat - view technique here

• Set a timer (on your watch, phone, or a kitchen timer) to remind you to stand up from your chair at regular intervals. Walk around for at least 30 seconds before sitting again. Exercise experts recommend getting up every 30 minutes. (While you’re at it, take your vitamins. And floss too.)

• Raise your arms over your head and hold them up for several seconds, twisting your torso to one side, then the other. Repeat several times.

• While seated on the floor or in a chair, raise one leg, cross it over your other leg, and hold the knee of your raised leg, gently pulling this leg toward you. Repeat on the other side - a few times each. This is good for loosening the vindictive sciatic nerve.

• I use a small pillow to support my lower back whenever I’m seated for more than a few minutes and carry one in my handbag (and I keep one in the car too).

Two diminutive back pillows sewn by Mom aka Susan Sneed, DVM

A thank-you is due to Amy Danzer, my colleague at Northwestern University, who suggested I write this post. Long overdue…

If you’re looking for a good yoga app, I subscribe to Gaiam’s Yoga Studio ($20/year). I mostly do the 10- and 15-minute classes, which can be downloaded for when you’re away from home and might not have wifi.