Jokes R Us

Some Bookish humor & submission deadlines & a debut novel by Diane Botnick - published today, Oct. 28!

Submission alerts: Yale Younger Poets competition (48-64 pp. - now open to poets of any age) – annual submission period is October 1 – November 15; submission fee: $25.

New American Press Poetry Prize (full-length collections - minimum of 48 pp. - no max length specified) - $1500 cash prize, 25 copies, and promotional support. Submissions open until January 15, 2026.

BOA Editions A. Poulin Jr. Prize (65-120 pp) must be the winner’s first published book of poetry. $1,000 cash prize, publication by BOA Editions in spring 2026. Submission period is August 1 - November 30, 2025. This year’s judge is Rigoberto González.

W.S. Porter Prize (short story collection, 100-350 double-spaced pp), $1000 cash prized, publication by Regal House Publishing. Submission period is annually September 2 - December 1. $25 submission fee, via Submittable; final judge: Heather Bell Adams.

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Upcoming posts: agent list #36, and interviews with R.L. Maizes, whose funny, subversive new novel, A Complete Fiction, is out on Nov. 4. and Kevin Fenton, whose award-winning second novel, Cyan Magenta Yellow Black, was published earlier this fall.

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Not long ago, my right shoulder decided to go on vacation, and a physical therapist told me the other day, with what seemed like glee, that it wouldn’t be back on the job for a year. What the #$%@!!? More recently, my left knee decided to host a party for the zoster virus (aka shingles).

Trying to calm down/slow down/not lose my mind, I unsubscribed from 5,000 of the 9,000,000 PACs daily spamming my phone and email inbox, but a lot of bad news still finds me. Feeling the need for less rage and more levity, I’m devoting today’s post to (corny) jokes, a few bookish, others not.

Below, you’ll also find a writing prompt and Kenneth Koch’s famous take on William Carlos Williams’ poem, “This Is Just to Say.” Koch’s parody always makes me laugh.

Why did the bookworms breakup? Because they weren’t on the same page.

What did Buddha say to the hotdog vendor? “Make me one with everything.”

How is playing the bagpipes like throwing the javelin? You don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention.

Why did Shakespeare always write with a pen? Because pencils made him ask, “2B or not 2B?”

Why didn’t the Abominable Snowman have more friends? He kept giving everyone the cold shoulder.

I’m reading a book about black holes; it really draws you in!

Why did the kid always sit in his wardrobe when reading a book? Narnia business!

I started walking around without any shoes, and it sort of became a Hobbit.

What did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead. I’ll give these two a lift.

(Some of the above courtesy of Bored Panda)

📕 Writing prompt: Write a series of texts or email exchanges between two characters who are bickering over a petty injustice one of them has visited on the other (not screwing the cap tightly on the salad dressing and the next time it’s shaken...)

📒 Happy publication day to Diane Botnick, whose new novel, Becoming Sarah, is officially out today!

“Lyrically and meticulously composed . . . Not a traditional Holocaust story, Botnick’s narrative examines the effects of the detritus left behind by the great atrocity on those who survived as well as their offspring. . . . Painful, dramatic, and ultimately triumphant.”—Kirkus Reviews